Some Ways To Know When You’re Getting Old
There are many ways of knowing when your maturity is real.
It doesn’t help if you ignore them and lie about the way you feel.
When you wake up in the morning and your neck is sore and stiff
And you try to put your socks on but your legs won’t bend a bit.
Your pants are on the bedpost, but when you try to put them on
You can’t bend over far enough to allow your legs to join.
When you finally get your clothes on and look in the bathroom mirror
You feel like going back to bed ’cause you look so tired and weary.
When you go back to visit Walmart and your stuff’s all been checked out
The cashier comes ‘round the corner and loads it in your cart.
When you take your trash to the local dump and as soon as you open your door
Some young kid grabs your bag of trash and says “I’ll throw it in for you, sir.”
When you go to Dollar General to buy one birthday card
You still have to use a buggy, ’cause walking is so hard.
When you’re going down the hall to Sunday school and you pass the literature rack
You stop and pretend you’re selecting some so you can rest your back.
Your maturity becomes obvious when your TV’s on the blink
And you have to call your grandchild to come reset the doggone thing.
If your wife calls you to supper and she’s cooked a nice roast beef
You know your days are piling up when you just can’t find your teeth.
You get concerned when you go to the doctor and he listens to your heart
And a terrified look comes across his face and he jumps back with a start.
You’re aging if your face once ended right above your brow
Now even if you bend over you can’t see where it ends now.
You know you’re really aging when you begin to search
And find you’ve got more loved ones in Heaven than you do here on Earth.