Summer movie showdown

By Nicholas Hilbourn
Arts and Entertainment Writer
Published: May 15, 2008

Reader, moviegoer, or should I say moviereader? The time has come.
The Earth has turned the Western Hemisphere to face our most magnificent star, and to celebrate, movie studios have churned out their best, their crème de la crème, their finest works…
...well, maybe.
This summer, we (the consumers) are judge, jury and executioner for Hollywood, and 8 Days doesn’t want you to be just a lamb led to the cinematic slaughter, but rather an informed watcher. This summer has some definite movie “dos” and movie duds, and our crack team of film specialists (actually it’s just me, a laptop computer and a parakeet, but it’s a really smart parakeet) are here to give you the low-down before you slide some cash down.
We’ve arranged our top five best bets for the summer along with an extended playlist of several movies, and even though they didn’t make it to the top, it would be shameful not to give them at least a little ink.
Without further ado, may I present to you our humbly, yet aptly named: ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING (AND MOST LIKELY BEST EVER) SUMMER MOVIE EXTRAVAGANZA SPECIAL
FAMILY
“Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”
It’s only been a year since Edmund, Lucy, Peter and Susan traveled to the magical world of Narnia. Meanwhile, 1,300 years have passed in Narnia. Since then King Miraz has taken control of Narnia, preventing his young nephew Prince Caspian, the rightful ruler, from the throne. Caspian summons the Pevensie children to help him save Narnia from certain peril. A climatic battle ensues.
If you liked this, you might want to see… “Kung Fu Panda,” “Wall-E,” “The Star Wars: Clone Wars”
Butterflies: Just looking at the trailer, I’m excited about the action sequences, new characters, storyline and amazing graphics. This has the potential to be one of the biggest sellers of the summer.
Jitters: There is such a thing as too much CGI and too many action sequences and this Narnia movie looks to be running a thin line between exciting and overload. Go too far and you have a terrible movie and audience members’ heads exploding.
ACTION
“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”
Indiana Jones is enjoying a quiet life of teaching when adventure comes calling in the form of an ancient skull supposedly bearing mystical powers. Working against time, the Soviet Union and a much older body, Indy travels deep into the Amazon for the latest installment in the Indiana Jones trilogy.
If you liked this, you might want to see… “Wanted,” “Bangkok Dangerous,” “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”
Butterflies: It’s friggin’ Indiana Jones! Not only that, but Harrison Ford is still in the role. Kudos to Spielberg and company for not finding a younger Indy look-a-like. The storyline looks poised to keep Indy in search of the unexplainable.
Jitters: Sometimes, as in any movie series, you wonder if all the stories have been told in all the ways you can tell them. Hype can be a beautiful boon or catastrophic curse. Let’s hope Indy isn’t swallowed by it.
CHICK FLICK
“Sex in the City”
Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Charlotte York and Miranda Hobbes have gone through marriage, divorce, cancer, even syndication - but in their big-screen debut, marriage takes the forefront as Mr. Big finally pops the question to Carrie.
If you liked this, you might want to see… “The Accidental Husband,” “Swing Vote”
Butterflies: With a whole movie to explore, the possibilities for storylines and character development are already there. Where some movies struggle to create a world and engulf the reader within it, this one has one ready-made that looks like it’ll be a fantastic chance to see characters once confined to hour-long episodes expand within the scope of a feature-length film.
Jitters: As if any TV adaptation, therein lies the chance that it might end up being an hour-long episode stretched onto a big screen with many unnecessary scenes that diehard fans might enjoy but might put newcomers into a soporific trance.
EPIC
“The Dark Knight”
The continuing revisualization of Frank Miller’s Batman that picks up where Batman Begins left off. Sociopathic supervillian The Joker sets Gotham City on a path to destruction and Batman is the only one who can stop him, but as the movie unfolds, it becomes quite clear that this is much more than a battle of good versus evil.
If you like this, you might want to see ... “The Incredible Hulk,” “Hancock,” “Hell Boy II: The Golden Army”
Butterflies: This movie is sure to be an emotional one. The recent death of Heath Ledger hangs in the backdrop behind his portrayal of a much darker, more sinister Joker than most moviegoers have seen. It has potential to be an amazing and, perhaps, bone-chilling cinematic experience.
Jitters: The same thing that seems to be pushing the movie forward also has the power to smother it. Ledger’s recent death could overshadow the movie and create a morbid hype that buries it.
SUSPENSE
“The Strangers”
Supposedly based on the true story of a brutal crime that took place in February 2005, The Strangers follows James Hoyt and Kristen McKay as their romantic getaway quickly turns into a nightmare when masked strangers break into their peaceful country home.
If you liked this, you might want to see ... “The Happening,” “The X-Files: I Want To Believe,” “Babylon A.D.”
Butterflies: Filmed in Florence, “The Strangers” will certainly be a surreal experience. The trailer gives goosebumps not only because it’s based on a true story, but because the landscape looks so frighteningly familiar.
Jitters: The masked killer schtick has been done so many times before that it will take a new bag of tricks to make it interesting. The Strangers certainly will have to put a mighty big twist on the subgenre to keep it from falling into the bottomless abyss of masked murderer movies that have flooded the movie market since the beginning of time.

Keep in Mind
“You Don’t Mess With The Zohan” (June 6) Comedy: Adam Sandler plays an ex-Israeli spy turned hairdresser.

“Kung Fu Panda” (June 6) Animated: Jack Black is a panda struggling to make it in a kung fu world.

“Get Smart” (June 20) Comedy: Maxwell Smart receives a facelift when Steve Carell takes the helm of the film version of this classic TV series.

“The Love Guru” (June 20) Comedy: Mike Meyers is a holy man named Pitka who returns to America to “self-help” the nation back to mindfulness.

“Step Brothers” (July 25) Comedy: John C. Reily and WIll Ferrell play two super-spoiled adults who become stepbrothers.

“Wanted” (June 27) Action: A group of super-snipers seeks to save the world.

“Wall-E” (June 27) Animated: A lonely robot finds its meaning after being hijacked from its home planet.

“Hancock” (July 2) Action: Will Smith plays a superhero with less than desirable personal habits but a thirst for justice.

“Hell Boy II: The Golden Army” (July 11) Action: Hellboy and friends must stop a mythical world from taking over the earth.

“The X-Files: I Want To Believe” (July 25) Suspense: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully return to their search for the truth.

“Swing Vote” (Aug. 1) Dramedy: Kevin Costner is an everyman who suddenly becomes an only man when his vote becomes the deciding factor in a presidential election.

“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” (Aug. 1) Action: Father-and-son adventurers flee from the recently-awakened (and cursed) mummy of the Qin dynasty.

“Pineapple Express” (Aug. 8) Comedy: Seth Rogen and James Franco flee from gangsters after they witness a murder.

“Bangkok Dangerous” (Aug. 22) Action: Nicolas Cage is a hired assassin who is confronted with a job that’s a little too personal.
“The Accidental Husband” (Aug. 22) Romantic Comedy: Uma Thurman is a love columnist who gets a taste of her of own medicine.

“Star Wars: Clone Wars” (Aug. 25) Animated: New Star Wars movie that fills in the gap between Episode 2 and 3.

“College” (Aug. 29) Comedy: High school seniors receive the royal treatment when they visit a college campus for the weekend.

“Babylon A.D.” (Aug. 29) Action: Vin Diesel escorts a woman hosting an organism containing what one cult hopes to be a genetically-modified Messiah.